Brightheart's Reflection
by Ivypool
Summary: "Cats of ThunderClan!" Fireheart looked down at the gathering Clan around him. "The dogs have gone, carried down stream by the river. However, there was a price..." And he told them of Bluestar, who had lead the dogs off the cliff and into the water. Lostface's face hardened at the mention of Tigerstar. It was his fault this happened to her, and something had to be done about it.
1. Chapter 1

Brightheart's Reflection

 _"Pack, pack. Kill, kill." The voices haunted her endlessly. She stood alone in the dark of the night, a dead body lay at her side. The trees stretched up high, their long branches covering the stars from her view. The shadows seemed the grow darker still, stretching out and reaching forward to consume her._

 _Crouching away with fear, she huddled closer to the still-warm body by her side. She blinked down at the cat, horrified, and used one paw to turn the cat over. Blood spilled from the wounds, and stained her white paws. The body rolled over limply, revealing the tattered and terribly scarred face of Swiftpaw, hardly recognizable if not for his pelt._

 _She looked up again, shivering with the sensation of being watched. Peering into the darkness, her sense of being alone in the dark was forgotten, she saw two eyes, a pair staring at her from the shadows. Then, another appeared blinked beside it. More and more eyes shone in the black, and suddenly a shape emerged._

 _Four paws, a body larger than a fox. Eyes hungry, and jaws drooling. The way the dog growled sent a tremor of fear coursing through her. "Pack, pack!" The surrounding dogs snarled fiercely as one, louder than ever. "Kill, kill!" The chant repeated, and grew louder still. The leader stepped forward menacingly._

 _Brightpaw looked up into the eyes of the dog towering over her, it's drool dripping and landing on her forehead. She forgot how to swallow, only managing to take a shaky step back. Her back paw bumped Swiftpaw's body. And with the loud chant coming to a climax, she hardly had time to begin a screech as the dog lunged forward._

 _Teeth pierced her flesh, and large claws raked her sides. She yowled in pain, and trashed, her claws unsheathed and paws outstretched to catch onto anything she could. Pain seared her face, and suddenly all she could see was red. She let out a cry of pain as she was threw to the side, only to look up and see another dog in it's place, bearing down over her again, and ready to resume her torture._

Brightpaw gasped, her eyes flying open to see the light of the den. She winced as the pain from her dream only worsened in reality, and she cried out in agony. Then suddenly, there was a cat by her side- no two. She strained to see through her pain as the two cats leaned down over her. And she yowled out in fright, their shadows bringing flashing visions of horrible drooling dogs, lunging at her from the shadows, and bearing down on her in hungry anticipation.

She shied away, rearing up to escape these offenders. Lashing out a paw in fright, she felt her claws snag in something's fur. And then a voice broke her panic, "Brightpaw! Brightpaw!" It yelled over her struggle. "It's okay!"

And her mind cleared again. Drawing a shaky breath, she looked up into the worried face of Cloudpaw- no Cloudtail. His white fur was wild, sticking out at all angles and iluminated by the sun shining into the den behind him. His blue eyes stared into hers desperately, worriedly. Her gaze lingered on his for a moment, before looking over the tom's shoulder at Cinderpelt, the young medicine cat staring with shock at the scene Birghtpaw had created.

Then she looked at her paw, her claws still snagged in Cloudtail's long fur. She pulled away quickly, and whispered a broken, "Sorry." in a terribly raspy voice, which only made her wince at the sound. But even the act of wincing brought on a new onslaught of pain, and she shied away from it again, pressing deeper into the mossy nest.

Cinderpelt seemed to have recovered from her shock. "You're finally awake." Was all she managed to say at first.

Brightpaw made no effort to show she had heard the medicine cat. She hardly registered the fact that Cloudtail had climbed into her nest slowly, and was curling up at her side. Her mind flashed with more images, this time including another cat. A small black-and-white tom laying on his side, wounds scouring up and down his body, and his amber eyes staring forward blankly.

"Swiftpaw." She whispered, blinking up at Cinderpelt now. "Where- Where is he? What happened?"

Cinderpelt looked very uncomfortable at these words. She sat down slowly in front of their nest, and seemed to plan the words deliberately in her mind. "Swiftpaw died, Brightpaw." Her meow was light, and careful- hesitant as if stepping out onto thin ice. "You were both attacked by dogs, and he died before the warriors could find you both."

The words hit her like a blow. "He can't be..." She whispered, "He fought..." She remembered the tom launching furiously upwards to meet the dog face-to-face, claws outstretched, and face contorted in a powerful snarl. "He _fought_ like all of LionClan." Her voice cracked, and she felt a sob well up inside her. Her body trembled, not even realizing that Cloudtail had pressed his nose to her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

"I'm sure he did." Was all Cinderpelt could offer, her kind voice lowered to a whisper. "He served his Clan very well."

There was a stretch of silence between the three, which carried a great weight. She continued to tremble, and Cinderpelt turned away. The medicine cat filled the silence by padding over to the herb store and rummaging through it. "You were hurt as well, Brightpaw." Her voice said, though her back was turned. Once content with the herbs she'd mixed together, she placed a leaf in front of Brightpaw. "This is a mixture of poppy seed, chamomile, burnet, and honey. It'll help with your recovery."

Brightpaw stared downwards at the mixture, the sticky blend appearing unappetizing. It took some gentle coaxing from Cloudtail before she finally reached down and lapped up the herbs. The chamomile stuck to her tongue, but the honey helped it go down smoothly. She swallowed forcefully, and looked up to see Cinderpelt watching her with approval.

"Very good," The medicine cat purred, though she still looked a little uneasy. "Do you want anything else to eat?" She offered, "I'm sure Cloudtail would be happy to fetch you a mouse."

"Okay." Was all she offered as a response, and regretted the decision the heartbeat the white warrior stood up and hurried from the den. The place where his white pelt was pressed against hers had offered warmth, and now that it was gone she was startled by the cold. Alone in the nest, she sat up slowly, her sides aching with painful protest as she did so. After a heartbeat of just sitting there, staring forward, she turned slowly and began to lap at the dirty fur on her chest. She smoothed it down with slow, rhythmic strokes, and before long Cloudtail was beside her once more with a mouse in his jaws.

He offered it to her quietly, and she accepted with a broken mew of thanks.

Cinderpelt, who was still hovering anxiously, looked down at the two cats. Her tail twitched with nervousness, and she said aloud, "Everyone will be so relieved when I tell that you're awake."


	2. Chapter 2

It was two days later when Fireheart visited. Brightpaw- no Lostface as everyone was referring to her as now, was lounging with Cloudtail in the sun shining into Cinderpelt's den.

She was thankful for the white tom's company, and wondered why he continued to stay through her silence. _Lostface._ She would think repeatedly- not bitterly, but with a sense of emptiness. _I am Lostface._ By now, she thought she had some sense of the extent of her injuries. For the first day, she had found that cobwebs and moss were plastered on over half of her face. She had had one ear and eye fully covered with these bandages, along with both of her flanks and patches on her legs and tail. But this morning, Cinderpelt had uncovered the wounds to let them breathe. And now, as she brought a paw to her face, she was met with raw, fleshy, torn skin that was in no doubt an angry red or maybe a puffy pink... And she couldn't _see_. She thought it must just be from the swelling... she'll be okay eventually, despite Cinderpelt's unease... right?

How can he still like her, when she is so torn and damaged? Her thoughts returned to the warrior by her side. _Cloudtail_. With such a hideous name... She didn't understand why he would lay with her now, on the dirt floor of the den, and help her carefully groom her face. He was gentle, never once touching where her injuries met her fur.

The peace was shattered though, as a shadow came into view. Turned away from the entrance, and lounging lazily in the sun, she was startled by the movement. She whimpered at the sight and shrank closer to Cloudtail, too afraid to turn and see who was standing behind her. All she could imagine was a giant dog, looming over her with glinting eyes and snarling, ready to strike...

She was shaken from the sight by Cloudtail, who mewed softly to her, "It's okay. It's only Fireheart." He looked up at the deputy, and explained, "You came up on her blind side. She's scared when cats do that, but she's getting better everyday."

"That's right." Cinderpelt agreed, stepping out of her den and limping over to the ginger tom was standing in the entrance of the medicine cat's clearing. "To be honest, there's..." her voice faded as she lead Fireheart away from the den to talk. Lostface sat up and turned to watch them leave. They were talking about her, she knew. What else would it be?

She stayed there in silence with Cloudtail. He twitched unhappily where he lay, and his muscles stiffened underneath his pelt. Finally, showing his impatience with Fireheart's and Cinderpelt's conversation, he stood. "I'm going to see what they are talking about." He told her, briefly touching his nose to her good ear before stalking out of the den.

She was left alone in the sun for many heartbeats, in which she sighed and stared out the den entrance. It wasn't too long before Cloudtail came bounding back in, and she blinked up at him. "Lostface," he started, "Fireheart wants to talk to you."

Fireheart entered the den behind the white warrior, "Lostface, it's Fireheart." She turned her face to get a good look at him. She focused her one good eye on the deputy. What was he here for? "Would you like to go and stay with the elders for a while?" He offered hesitantly. "It would be a good load off my mind if you could help look after them- the apprentices have too much to do as it is."

Lostface was startled by his words. The _elder's den_? She glanced sideways at Cloudtail. "I don't have to, do I?" She asked. "I'm _not_ an elder."

Cloudtail pressed his muzzle comfortingly against her face. "No one will make you do anything you don't want to do." He promised her.

"But you'd be doing me a favor." Fireheart quickly persuaded. "Speckletail's still grieving from Snowkit, and it will do her good to have a young, energetic cat around." He paused, as if waiting for Lostface to respond. When she didn't, he continued. "It's just until you get your strength back."

"And when you're strong again, I'll help you train." Cloudtail added lightly. "I'm sure you'll be able to hunt with your good eye and ear. It'll just take a bit of practice."

Lostface slowly began to nod. Yes, she thought, this was a good way to help her Clan while she recovered. Also, it got her out of the medicine cat den and gave her more freedom to move around. "All right Fireheart." She told him, "If that's the best way I can be useful."

"It is, I promise. And Lostface," Fireheart crouched down and gave her a reassuring lick. "is there anything you can tell me about that day in the forest? Did you see what attacked you?"

Lostface shrank back sharply, as if raked by claws. "I don't remember." She lied, though images flashed clearly behind her eyes. That was something she hadn't uttered a word about. What attacked her was nothing she wanted to relive. Her torturous, repetitious dreams were well enough, she didn't have the energy to translate all her fears and pain into words too. "I'm sorry, Fireheart. I don't remember." She whimpered, fearing that he might see through her lies, or demand to hear something.

Cloudtail licked her ear comfortingly, and she was thankful for his support. Fireheart wouldn't badger her with questions as long as he was here, and she found it a great relief. "It's all right; you don't have to think about it now."

But Fireheart was disappointed, and Lostface could see that. He stood abruptly, and spoke again, "Never mind. If you do think of anything, tell me right away."

"I'll tell you one thing," Cloudtail spoke up determinedly. "When we find out who did this to her, I'll make crowfood of them I promise you that."


	3. Chapter 3

"I fixed up your new nest for you." Cloudtail told her as he padded into the medicine cat den later that day. "I used fresh moss and lined it with some feathers to make it soft." He came and nudged her from her laying position on the floor of the den. "Are you ready?"

All she could do was nod. No, she wasn't ready. But she had to be. She didn't want to see the faces of her Clanmates as she made the walk of shame to the elder's den. She didn't want to see their shock and disgust when they realize the extent of her injuries. She had hardly gotten any visitors, how could they truly know? She didn't want to be _questioned_ about the attack, and she didn't want Cloudtail to return to his duties. Or for the elders to look at her in pity.

The longer she lay there and thought about the decision she had made, the more the panic grew, and the more she regretted it. Cloudtail seemed to see the panic in her eyes, for he smoothed his tail along her back and guided her forward gently. "I'll walk with you. If anyone says anything, they'll have to deal with me. Got it?"

And again, she nodded. Together, they stepped out of the den and into the sunlight that bathed the camp clearing. Around the camp lounged many cats. It was close to sundown, at that point no patrols were currently out of camp and most cats were about to head off to their dens for the night. Most cats were laying in the last bit of sun, or sharing prey in small groups. As she stood just beyond the den entrance, she turned her head widely to take if all in.

Goldenflower was near the nursery, looking harassed by the five kits that danced and played around her. Fernpaw and Ashpaw practiced basic battle moves near by, with Dustpelt supervising and offering suggestions on their stance. Cinderpelt was speaking with Fireheart once more, and Whitestorm was carrying a bird across camp to settle down and share with Frostfur in a patch of shade.

Everything looked so normal. And Lostface knew she was anything but that. Cloudtail lead her away from the medicine cat den and across camp. She padded behind him slowly, ducking her head as the first couple cats looked her way.

"Look," She heard a whisper from her right. "It's Lostface."

"Cinderpelt let her out?" Came another from her left. More and more heads turned, and tails gestured in her direction.

"Look at her face. Her _eye_!" They said. "It's... It's..." They struggled for words.

Lostface hurried to keep up with Cloudtail. Such a short walk had felt like a lifetime. Her fur bristled with the feeling of eyes on her, and her ears flattened against her head to block out the whispers. _Shut up._ She thought bitterly, internally despising her Clan for they way they acted. Her scars weren't that bad, were they? It shook her, their reactions. She hadn't seen her face for herself since the attack, and she was beginning to wonder why the Clan acted that way. Cloudtail never did!

Finally, she had reached the safety of the elder's den. Inside were all four of the elders, waiting to greet her warmly. Smallear and Speckletail shared a nest to the right, while Dappletail and One-eye lay more in the middle and off to the left. Further into the den, towords the back wall was one empty nest, freshly made.

"Welcome, Lostface." meowed One-eye upon her entry, sitting up from where she lay. "Your nest has been made over here."

Lostface padded forward and stepped into the nest gratefully. She shank down into the moss and sniffed the feathers curiously.

"Cloudtail worked hard on that one, didn't he?" Dappletail purred softly, looking over at the young warrior. "I helped him pull the feathers while he explained what was going to happen."

"You are very lucky to have someone who cares so much about you." Smallear told her, while Cloudtail shuffled his paws embarrassed in the entrance way of the den.

"I just wanted her to have the best." Cloudtail told them. "She's already been through enough as it is."

She purred faintly, kneading her paws on the soft moss. "That was very kind of you, Cloudtail..." She whispered. "Thank you." And with that, the white tom ducked back out of the den and disappeared. Left alone with the elders, she could only sigh and settle into her new nest. Smallear insisted on asking her if she wanted a story, since he knew how much she liked them as a kit, while Speckletail fretted over her and asked if she needed anything to eat or drink. _As long as this is helping the Clan..._

* * *

Cloudtail left her side quickly, running forward to meet his mother. He touched noses with her warmly, and she purred, "Cloudpaw, it's ages since I've seen you. You're looking wonderful, and haven't you grown?"

"You've got to call me Cloudtail now." He told her proudly. "I'm a warrior."

"A warrior already?" Princess trilled with joy for her son. "Cloudtail, I'm so proud of you!"

Lostface watched the reunion from beside Graystripe, who looked just as out of place as she had felt. It was his first time meeting this cat as well, and Lostface doubted that she knew anything about Clan life from the way she spoke. She honestly didn't want to be out here, so far away from camp right now, but thought it would have been rude to deny the offer. She felt open and exposed in the forest, even standing beside three strong warriors. Each shadow in the undergrowth, or small snap of a twig sent her jumping into the sky. Her nerves felt like they were always on end, and as they sat there and chatted, she kept glancing over her shoulder and into the forest.

Princess continued questioning her son, asking if he'd been eating enough and such. Fireheart eventually interrupted though and told her, "We can't stay for long." He paused, then asked, "Princess, have you head anything about a dog loose in the forest?"

Lostface felt a shiver down her spine at the mention of a dog. She hadn't told anyone about it yet, so how could he know? And it was so much more than a _dog._ It was a _pack._ A growling, drooling, starling, vicious pack that... Her mind was dragged back to reality with Princess's voice.

Princess turned and looked at him with frightened eyes. "A dog? No, I don't know anything about that."

"I think that might have been what the Twolegs were looking for that day Sandstorm and I met you in Tallpines." Fireheart said. "I don't think you should come into the forest alone anymore, not for the time being, anyway. It's too dangerous."

"Then you're in danger all the time.' Princess's eyes were still wide with worry and fear. "Oh, Fireheart...!"

"There's nothing to worry about." Fireheart tried to assure his sister. "Just stay in your garden, the dog won't bother you there."

"But I worry about you, Fireheart, and Cloudtail. You haven't got a nest to- Oh!"

Lostface jumped at the horrified squeak Princess produced, and she realized the kittypet was looking right at her. She crouched down warily, not knowing how Princess will take her scars. If Clan cats couldn't react well... then surely kittypets would be worse? Why was she here again?

"Come and meet Lostface," Cloudtail guided his mother offer with a hard stare. Princess dared to step forward a couple, nervous paces. Her tail flicked with uneasiness, despite Lostface making no threatening move, and Graystripe's friendly nod of greeting.

"Oh my goodness," Princess breathed, and Lostface looked up at her with her one good eye. "Whatever happened to you?"

"Lostface went out to tackle the dog." Cloudtail answered her. "She was very brave."

"And it did that to you? Oh, you poor thing!" But Lostface found no sympathy behind the she-cats words. Instead, she still had a horrified look on her face when she turned away to at look at her kin instead. "And the same thin could happen to any of you..." She didn't care. Lostface bit her tongue to stop herself from speaking. Princess didn't care about her, and what she had gone through. She only wanted Cloudtail and Fireheart to not turn out like she had.

A deep sadness hit her, and she hardly realized that Cloudtail was at her side again. His fur pressed against hers, and he nosed her shoulder as she took in a steady breath. The kittypet had a point though... This could happen to anyone. And that scared her so much.

"It's time we were going." Fireheart decided, standing up again. "Cloudtail just wanted to give you his news. You'd better get back into your garden."

And the kittypet agreed quickly, "Yes- yes I will." Her eyes still raked over Lostface's scars. "You'll come and see me again, Fireheart?" She began to back away.

"As soon as I can." He promised her, and finally the she-cat was gone. She had turned and dashed for the fence, leaping up the side and dropping down into her garden without a look back. Closing her eyes painfully, she heard Princess shout "Good-bye!" as she went.

Cloudtail let out a long breath, "That went well." He muttered sarcastically.

"You can't blame Princess." Fireheart told them. "She doesn't really understand what Clan life is all about. She's just seen some of the worst of it, and she doesn't like it."

Graystripe grunted. "What can you expect from a kittyet? Let's go home."

With a nudge from Cloudtail, she shakily got to her paws. She looked at him timidly and started softly, "Cloudtail- Princess looked as if she were scared of me. I want-" She swallowed thickly, "I want to see myself. Is there a puddle nearby I can look into?"

Cloudtail didn't answer right away, instead he looked around until his eyes fell on something over her shoulder. He pressed his muzzle to his shoulder. "Come with me," He told her, and she turned to follow him a few paces away from Fireheart and Graystripe. She looked forward to see a fresh puddle laying beside a tree, last night's rain having filled it up.

Her heart skipped a beat with anticipation and fear of seeing her reflection- something she had not done since before the attack. For a heartbeat, her paws wanted to pull back and run to camp. But she forced herself to step to the edge of the water and crouch down. Her eye sealed shut in worry, and with a shaky breath she opened it to reveal herself, staring upwards in the reflection.

But... it wasn't her. She saw Cloudtail, with his crazy, wild white fur and round blue eyes staring lovingly at the cat beside him. But the cat beside him had a white-and-ginger pelt that was ravished and torn apart. One half of her face was pretty, but the white fur contrasted deeply with the other half. Fur torn away, and still slightly raw pink flesh stretched across her face like a disease. She had distinct claw marks, three invading the other, untouched half by stretching widely across her nose. And her _eye..._ Lostface felt her breath catch like everyone else's had when they saw her. _That's what Cinderpelt meant._ She thought, staring into the gaping hole in her head. Where a normally kind, blue eye should be sitter, there was a empty socket. Her ear on the scarred half flicked with emotion, and she realized that she could hardly call it a ear. All that was left was shreds, and so was her other ear too. They were covered in deep, painful vees, and she thought it was a wonder how this cat hadn't bleed out.

But this cat... it was her. "Now I see." She whispered, voice full of emotion she was desperately holding back. "I'm sorry if the other cats feel upset when they look at me."

But Cloudtail pulled her away gently. He looked at her, and began to lick the injured side of her face with slow licks. "You're still beautiful to me." He told her, and she was faintly aware of Fireheart and Graystripe watching them both. But it didn't matter. She was in awe after seeing herself, that Cloudtail can still care for her so much. That he wasn't afraid to touch her face, and not ashamed to stand next to her in front of the Clan. "You always will be." He promised.

Fireheart stepped forward, "Lostface, it doesn't matter what you look like. We're still your friends."

So overwhelmed with joy and emotion, the most she could do was dip to head to the deputy.

"Lostface!" Cloudtail spat angrily, and Lostface was startled by the hate so clear in his voice. "I hate that name. What right does Bluestar have to remind her of what happened every time a cat speaks to her? Well, I'm not going to use it again. And if Bluestar objects, she can... she can go and eat snails!"

She looked at the warrior, unsure of what to think. Yes, it was the leader's fault. But she was still leader... She looked over at Fireheart, half expecting him to lecture Cloudtail on respect for his leader, but the deputy just stood there in thought.

Graystripe shifted on his paws, looking between them all. Finally, he broke the brief silence. "Are we standing about here all day?" He asked.

Fireheart sighed, "No, let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

"Come on, Brightpaw." Cloudtail spoke soothingly. "You can help me fetch a rabbit for Speckletail. Fernpaw caught one so big earlier that she couldn't carry it!"

Lostface looked up at this. For the past two days she had been hiding in the elder's den. Though she spent most of her time asleep, she did make an effort to help the elders. She would help clear their moss, search them for ticks, and keep them company. There were times though, when all the elders were asleep, and she found herself awake alone with her thoughts. It was in these times that she realized just how helpless she felt. How much of a _coward_ she had become.

She had finally gotten her warrior name, and she couldn't even step foot into the camp clearing by herself. All because she was afraid of her Clanmates' whispers and stares. If she just hid in the den for the rest of her life, she wouldn't have to face their disgusted looks and cruel whispers, she would tell herself. But it couldn't go on forever she knew. Eventually she'd have to face her Clan.

One thing that saddened her the most about her new life, other than he missing eye and torn face, was the lack of visitors she got. Now that Swiftpaw was gone, it seemed like no one came to talk to her. The elders were plenty company, but the lack of visitors made her realize just how small of a role she must be to the Clan. Cinderpelt visited, but it was only because of her job. And Cloudtail visited too, but she couldn't understand why.

"I don't want to." She told him with a whisper, trying to pull herself out of her thoughts. She didn't want to face the Clan's pitying looks. She got enough from the elders already.

"It'll be good for you." Cloudtail's tail flicked in an attempt to persuade her. "The sun is warm today. I can find a shrew for us to share." He tried to persuade her, and she felt bad for turning down his offer.

Lostface was silent for a long moment. "Okay." She finally told him. With Cloudtail's help, she rose to her paws and took the first shaky steps out of the den. Walking was hard for her. She had realized the struggle during her quick trips to the dirtplace and back. Her missing ear and torn whiskers threw off her balance, and her missing eye made it hard for her to judge distances of the world around her. Often times, she would trip or stumble, or bump her head on the den entrance, or miss her bite of food because she saw the distance wrong. Even the simplest, every day tasks had become a struggle for her.

She was both grateful and ashamed to have Cloudtail at her side, she mused as they ventured further out into the sun. She was too busy with her thoughts to recognize Frostfur quickly disappear into the nursery, or see how Willowpelt gestured to her with her tail and whispered quietly with Darkstripe. Cloudtail was more supportive than anyone else in the Clan, by far. But he shouldn't have to coax her out of the elders den, or fetch her prey and water every day because she wouldn't do it herself. She was a _warrior_ now. She shouldn't have to rely on him so heavily. And she hated herself for it.

" _Lostface._ " The whisper broke her thoughts. Back in the real world, she realized that they had reached the fresh-kill pile, and Cloudtail's warm pelt was still pressed against her own. The whisper had come from her right, just out of sight. She turned her head slowly to see who had spoken. It was Fernpaw who had spoken. The young apprentice was standing just a fox-length away from her, trembling beside Ashpaw, who was crouched low to the ground with wide eyes.

Lostface realized why they were scared. Not only had they seen her clearly in the daylight for the first time, but her good eye was on the left of her face. As she turned to look to her right, they got a clear view of her ravished, still healing face, her missing eye, and her shredded ear. The two apprentices turned tail and bounded back towards the apprentice den, fur rising on their spines.

Cloudtail leaned down wordlessly, and picked up the rabbit he had spoken about earlier. He turned around, not even glancing the direction that the two apprentices had ran, and began to walk back to the elders den. Lostface moved quickly to keep up, but found herself looking around at the Clan now. Every cat in camp had stopped their conversations to stare, and her pelt burned at this realization.

She pushed past Cloudtail and into the safety of the elders den before he could even reach it. By the time he had entered after her, she was already deep in her nest with her face hiding under her patchy tail. He gave the rabbit to the elders, and they mewed their thanks softly back. Then, he padded over to Lostface and climbed into the nest with her. He curled around her the best he could, and began to lick her pelt softly, waiting patiently until she felt ready to speak.

She never did speak though. Under his rhythmic strokes, she found that her swirling thoughts only grew. She thought of her Clanmates and their reactions to her, and the words they spoke when they thought she couldn't hear. She thought of the apprentices running, and the way the elders pitied her, and the way Fireheart was uncomfortable in her presence, and how her own mother won't even visit her... But then she thought of the one Clanmate that made this all happen: Bluestar.

 _Bluestar is the one who made the Clan afraid of you._ She sighed in silent agreement, feeling no anger, just a deep sorrow. The Clan wouldn't be so afraid of her if Bluestar hadn't used her ceremony to further wage war against their warrior ancestors. She knew that every time her name would be spoken or thought of, her Clanmates will only think of the curse that Bluestar has put upon them. She had become a symbol of the pain the Clan was to face.

 _You could show them all that you can be a true warrior. You could train and be strong._ Lostface stiffened briefly at this. She ignored Cloudtail's pause in his grooming, and his questioning mwe. Could she really be a warrior? A _true_ warrior? Was there a way she could leave behind the life in the elders den and join border patrols and hunting parties like she always envisioned her warrior life to be like? Maybe she could even go to Gatherings, and have kits, and defend her Clan with her life... if only she had an eye.

 _You are too strong to let one eye hold you back. You can retrain and come up with moves no one can predict. You can use your scars to your advantage._ She liked the sound of that. Maybe she _could_ train to hunt and fight with one eye. It would be hard, she knew. Judging the position of prey would be difficult, and both her hunting and fighting stance would need to be reworked now that she was thrown so far off balance.

She opened her eye finally, and looked at the white warrior in front of her. Cloudtail was still washing her pelt gently, and he paused when he realized that she was watching him now. He would help her, she knew. She didn't even have to ask. "I..." She swallowed, "I want to start training again."

Cloudtail nodded at this. He showed no surprise. "I can try my best to help." He told her, briefly touching his nose to her ear supportively. "We can talk to Cinderpelt tomorrow and see if you are healed enough to begin." Lostface purred softly and leaned into him. He resumed his washing, and with feeling of it, she begin to doze off.


	5. Chapter 5

For the next couple days, Lostface was further confined to the elders' den. After checking in with Cinderpelt, she found that her wounds were not healed well enough to begin training just yet. With the thought of her future training though, she found that her sorrow began to wash away. Life in the elders' den was peaceful, and she found herself rather enjoying her time there now. She was away from the prying eyes of her Clanmates, and out of Cinderpelt's way. She would often find herself daydreaming about returning to her life as a proper warrior.

The elders helped her a lot while she was in their den. Speckletail would fetch her food when she was hungry, and Dappletail and Smallear would tell her stories to take her mind off her frequent nightmares and dark thoughts. In return, she'd help the elders as well. With the mice Speckletail brought her, Lostface would use their bile to search for ticks. She'd help pull twigs and thorns from their nests when the apprentices brought them bad moss. And she would keep them company, along with Cloudtail, as she quickly realized how little visitors they got- apart from the apprentices, who only came to bring prey. The apprentices never brought her prey.

Her peace didn't last long though, as one day she heard voices rise from outside of the den, their tones revealing confusion and worry. "What's going on?" She asked, craning her neck to try to see out of the den entrance from where she lay in her nest.

"Let me see." Dappletail stood up to stand just outside the den entrance and watch what was going on. After a few heartbeats, the elder gasped. "Brindleface!" She exclaimed with shock. "She's dead! Fernpaw and Ashpaw are taking her from camp."

"What happened?" One-eye questioned, his old hearing failing him at this time.

"Brindleface died." Lostface repeated to him, then stood up to squeeze into the den's entrance way and stand beside Dappletail.

In the clearing, she could see Fernpaw and Ashpaw dragging the limp warrior from the camp for burrial. Near the Highrock though, Fireheart stood surrounded by his Clanmates. He was announcing something, and she turned to listen. "... Tigerstar has been feeding the dogs, and he has laid a trail of dead rabbits to lead them right into our camp. You all know what lay at the end of that trail." He motioned towards where Brindleface will soon be buried.

The Clan broke out in a chorus of wailing and panic, and Lostface wound herself backing into the den again. Her breathing was coming fast. "They're back!" She whispered, turning around in the den, suddenly feeling very trapped in the confined space. "I-I need to get out of here. They're coming!" Fear made her panic, the terror from her dreams and memories coming to haunt her in reality once more. "I-I need..."

Smallear was at her side in an instant, his tail smoothing down the fur on her back soothingly. "Fireheart knows what he is doing." He told her. "He won't let the dogs hurt anyone."

"Come on," Dappletail entered the den once more. "Fireheart says we're heading for Sunningrocks."

The other elders nodded in agreement and stood up to leave without protest. Speckletail replaced Smallear, and guided her from the den. Outside, her Clanmates were assembling together and preparing to leave the camp. They all stood anxiously beside the camp entrance, unaware of the panic Lostface was caught in. Her flanks heaved with rapid breaths, and her instincts told her to just run. Who knows when they'll arrive?

It wasn't long before Cloudtail had joined her side once more, and Fireheart began to address the Clan, "If you haven't eaten today, I suggest you eat now." He told them. "You'll need all your strength. We'll go soon, but first I have to talk to Bluestar."

The wait was agonizing for her. She felt like trapped prey. It didn't help that she could feel her Clanmates eyes rake over her, their gazes falling to her missing eye and shredded ears. She crouched low, begging Fireheart to hurry up already, and repeatedly sent worried looks to the camp entrance. Her stomach felt like it was doing flips. Cloudtail pressed his nose to her shoulder again, but it only made her jump in her fright. He whispered an apology to her, in which she didn't hear.

Finally, Bluestar appeared from the leader's den and wordlessly lead them out of camp. Lostface jumped forward, all her anxiety and fear finally put into motion. She pushed her way out of the camp, trying to get out as soon as she possibly could. But being out in the forest was almost as bad as being stuck the camp. The trees and shadows seem to hide eyes and creatures that the camp had not. She found herself jumping with every falling leaf.

She climbed the ravine clumsily, her paws still shaky with panic. Once, she misjudged a step and tripped over a rock. Both Speckletail and Cloudtail were there in an instant, leaning down to help her pick herself up. She cursed internally for needing their help.

"This'll be over soon." Cloudtail promised her when they finally reached the gray boulders near the ThunderClan-RiverClan border. Many of her Clan members settled themselves on top of the rocks, sunning themselves and murmuring about how Fireheart's plans might be going now. They'd stare into the forest with perked ears, or watch the water lazily. Lostface, however, settled underneath an overhang of a rock, with Cloudtail laying beside her. "Fireheart knows what he is doing." He promised.

Despite his words, she still fidgeted. His concerned, loving gaze that kept falling on her only seemed to make the matters worse. She didn't want cats to stare, or to feel bad, or even need to help. "I-I want to climb a tree." She whispered, surprising herself as much as Cloudtail.

The white warrior blinked at her. "Okay," he told her. "We'll climb a tree." His eyes moved and scanned the edge of the Sunningrocks clearing. Seeming to decide on a good one, he helped her to her paws. With his tail laying across her back comfortingly, he lead her away from the warm boulders and to the very edge of the forest.

"How is this one?" He asked, stopping at the base of the first one they reached. She peered upwards at it. The tree he had chosen was sturdy, with branches low enough to climb up to without hurting your claws too terribly, but high enough that no creatures or monsters could snap at your tail if it hung over. Since it was leafbare, the tree held no cover from the darkening sky above, but she could see that the branches still held strong. On one side of the tree, there was the thickening forest that held the dog pack from view; on the other side there was the clearing with her Clanmates.

"It's perfect." She whispered and prepared to climb the trunk. She gripped the bark firmly, and hoisted herself upwards. Her claws ached about halfway up, no longer used to straining themselves after her being out of training for so long. When she was close to the first branch, one of her back paws slipped and she could hear a chunk of bark fall to the ground. She squeaked with a new fear, gripping onto the trunk in a desperate effort not to fall.

"You're okay." She heard Cloudtail's soothing voice below her, "I'm right behind you. You won't fall."

She nodded and took a deep breath. Slowly, she found her next pawhold, and managed to pull herself onto the branch. In the next few heartbeats, Cloudtail joined her and sat with his white fur against the trunk, panting.

Lostface balanced carefully on the branch, and enjoyed her new lookout. From where she sat, she was able to see deep into the undergrowth of the forest. And if she were to turn around, she would be positive that her Clanmates were safe, huddled in the shadows of the Sunningrocks, or daring to lounge on the warm boulders despite the danger that threatened the forest.

She wasn't sure how long they were up there before she began to hear sound. It was far away and muffled by the trees, but she was certain of what it was. She shuddered at the thought of the dogs catching up to her Clanmates, or even swerving off the path and coming to find her instead. She didn't realize that Cloudtail was pressing against her side supportively.

But the barking came and gone, and she slowly realized that the pack must have passed by without noticing them. She continued to sit up there however, ears pricked and stomach churning uncomfortably. She knew they had gone, but for some reason she was still paranoid, still scared. Cloudtail sat beside her the entire time.

Eventually, it began to rain. One drop fell here, another there. It wasn't a hard rain, but certainly no one wanted to be out in it. Cloudtail nudged her as she thought about it, and she looked up in confusion. He was pointing across the boulders and to the opposite side of the clearing. She followed his gaze, then she saw it- the cats who had worked to get rid of the dogs were back.

Fireheart was in front, of course, with Graystripe padding beside them. Fernpaw and Ashpaw walked forward too, their heads down and looking exhausted. Then followed Sandstorm, Dustpelt, Longtail, and Mousefur. And finally, this sent a jolt through Lostface, two RiverClan warriors carrying a limp cat between them. As the group came closer, she realized who they were. Stonefur and Mistyfoot, and they were carrying a limp, lifeless Bluestar between them.

Cloudtail dropped down from the branch easily, leaving her up there alone. She scooted back to the trunk and skittered down it awkwardly, once again straining her claws. That didn't matter though, as she and Cloudtail pounded over to join their Clanmates on the boulders.

"Cats of ThunderClan!" Fireheart had leaped onto a rock and was now looked down at the gathering Clan around him, most of which had taken to the shelter of the overhangs when the rain started. "The dogs have gone, carried down stream by the river. However, there was a price..." He looked behind him sadly, to where the RiverClan warriors were laying down their leader and stepping back to allow her Clanmates to come forward and grieve.

Fireheart explained the tale of their victory, how one cat lead the dogs to another until they came to the cliff where he had waited. He told them of Tigerstar, and how the ShadowClan leader had tried to kill him. And he told them of Bluestar, whom had lead the dogs off the cliff into the water. And finally, he explained why the RiverClan warriors were here, as they had helped him pull the leader from the stream, and how she died on the shore.

The Clan, with mixed feelings of relief, victory, and grief, couldn't say much. Many padded forward to grieve for their lost leader, but Lostface was not one of them. She felt shocked, knowing that the cause of her pain had left the forest for good. But in the back of her mind she knew it wasn't completely over, the dogs would still haunt her dreams and scare her from the shadows. But it was better, just a little bit.

As for Bluestar, Lostface watched from where she lay. Cloudtail had gotten up to say his goodbyes. Lostface however, did not step forward. Bluestar had only added onto her pain. Naming her Lostface! She wanted to wince every time she heard it. The leader had not been in her right mind, she knew, but it doesn't mean that it shouldn't have happened. It was not all her fault though, Lostface mused. Mostly, after hearing the Fireheart's story, she recognized that it was Tigerstar's fault above all.

And her face hardened at the thought of Tigerstar. Of course it was him, she thought bitterly. It was always him, wasn't it? Her claws sank in the cool, soft dirt beneath her. It was his fault this happened to her, and something had to be done about it.


End file.
